Artemis Fowl 3: The Underground Incident
by bookworm101
Summary: Expelled from school, and with a father still in critical condition, Artemis Fowl's life is far from perfect. But then with the disappearance of a life long friend, his world turns upside down. Meanwhile, the LEP are having troubles of their own and many


Artemis Fowl: The Underground Incident 

Authors Note: I do not own any characters; they of course belong to Eoin Colfer. I did however make up my version of Artemis Fowl's mother since in the books you never really see her when she's not mentally ill. This takes place about a month after the second book. If there are any more sequels this story will probably not make sense, but there you have it.

Chapter One: The Disappearance

"Yes doctor, yes I understand completely. Thank you very much. Good bye." Artemis hung up the phone. He had heard some rather disappointing news. His father was still in a coma. At least he wasn't dead. But Artemis had arrived back in Ireland almost a month before, and his father had not woken up since he had been rescued from the Russian Mafia. As glad as Artemis was to have his father back, a hospitalized, incapacitated dad was not quite what the young genius had had in mind.

The young Fowl glanced over the many computer monitors. His eyes lingered on the screen showing world news; it was always good to be aware of what was happening around you.

Artemis checked his watch, 5: 34 p.m. He should start getting ready. His mother was taking him out to dinner in Dublin later that night. She had been in Russia, next to Artemis Senior's bedside hoping and praying that he would be well again. But then, a week ago she had gotten the phone call and left for Ireland immediately, suddenly more concerned for her son than she had ever been. 

For the past week Angelina had been trying to spend some 'quality family time' together. It wasn't having the affect she had hoped for, considering the fact that every meal had ended in a shouting match, usually set off by Artemis. At the verge of death by boredom, he had come up with several brainteasers that he knew his mother couldn't answer, and she knew it too. She would tell him to respect his elders, that got Artemis annoyed. He would smirk when her forehead knotted in concentration because the answer wasn't obvious to her. That got Angelina mad. 

It's a good thing she's leaving tomorrow, thought Artemis, he was just standing up, when a blonde head peaked through the door.

"Artemis," said Juliet Butler, "Your mother's waiting in the car," Of course when she said car she really meant limo.

"I was just coming," replied Artemis.

"Try not to make her upset this time, she's been through a lot." Juliet's voice sounded concerned.

"She's been through a lot? Why, while you and her were at a spa, me and Butler were…"

"Were what? Fighting crime? As I recall it Artemis, you were skipping school. Either relaxing or making up another ridiculously evil scheme to rob innocent people of their money." Juliet wouldn't have used to talk so brazenly to her employer, but she knew Artemis wouldn't fire her because she knew too much.

Artemis remembered now, that Juliet did not know about the little reunion with their fairy friends. "Well… you try going to preppy Saint Bartleby's."

Juliet shook her head, "You better get…"

"I'm going! I'm going!" cut off Artemis. He didn't need to hear about his laziness to know that tonight was not going to be very pleasant.

***

"I just can't see how you were _expelled_." Said a speculative Angelina Fowl. There seemed to be enough space between her and Artemis for a football field.

"Maybe my intellect was too great for their comprehension." Was the moody response.

"I won't have that smarter than thou attitude mister! Not tonight. Tonight we are going to be happy!" She said it as if her word was law. Artemis couldn't help thinking: Right, happy. That'll happen.

"Driver! Why aren't we moving? We've been sitting here wasting time, the reservation is at 6:40!"

"Master Fowl's orders Miss Angelina." Said the driver promptly.

"Artemis," said his mother in a very impatient voice, "can you explain to me why we have been waiting here five minutes and still haven't moved?"

"Butler's not here yet." Artemis winced, knowing that he sounded like a baby. His mother obviously agreed with him.

"Good Lord Artemis! You're 13! Surely one night out with your mother and a chauffer is not going to mean the end of the world! Besides that if your Butler were more responsible then he would be here on time. Driver, drive." The car's engine started and they slowly went down the long driveway.

Artemis was sure Butler would never shirk his responsibility, unless something was wrong with Juliet. Artemis glanced back at the house; he could see Juliet clearly through the second floor window, practicing her Tae Chi, perfectly safe and sound. So where was Butler? He shook his head maybe Angelina was right. He was 13 after all. He didn't need a bodyguard while going to a five star restaurant in Dublin with his mother.

***

Holly was in a dress suit. She was stiff and very uncomfortable to say the least. But then she felt a pang of guiltiness the moment she saw Foaly. He was wearing a specially tailored centaur suit. It was also polyester. Foaly appeared to be highly allergic to polyester.

Holly and Foaly were to present their defense to the Counsel in ten minutes. They had not made a good first impression. An arrogant itchy centaur and a bad tempered elf that happened to be the only woman LEPrecon officer and who had caused the Counsel a lot of money. Of course they had both helped save the city… Blah, blah, blah. The Counsel saw only their lost fortune.

"We have to win!" protested Foaly, "That acorn saved your career. If not your life."

"I doubt they'll buy that." Said Captain Holly Short, "But what really gets me is who told. Nobody knew but you and Root. Well, Artemis and the big fellow of course… but they don't really count."

"I've been working on a theory about that. When Julius was 'reprimanding' me for disobeying the Counsel, that snob… er… what's his name? Oh, yes. Pipes. Pipes Sky. Well, anyway, he seemed very 'busy' making coffee for his friends. He's just the king of person who would rat out on you… and, um me too, of course. He even looks like a rat." 

"Perhaps…" said Holly evilly, "Perhaps this Pipes is going to have a little accident, if you get my mean…"

"Julius!" cried Foaly. Commander Root glared at Foaly.

"Short, take of that ridiculous clothing and report to LEP head courters at once. The trial has been postponed in light of the events."

"Yes sir. What events, sir?" said Holly, confused at the sudden turn of events.

"Mud man. Underground."

The first thing Holly said was: "Fowl!"

"Not necessarily. We still don't have identification."

"I'm on it." Said Foaly. He was already biting his polyester to pieces.

"What are they doing here? More gold? Wouldn't the air pressure…"

"It's not like that," said Root, "It's even worse than the Artemis Fowl incident."

"What could be worse than that?" whispered Holly. She was scared. She remember when she had been kidnapped… it still made her shudder.

"They kidnapped a Human."

"Who!?"

"Goblins… Lots of goblins. And," Root gulped, "and a troll."

"D'Arvit," swore Holly under her breath.

"D'Arvit is right," came a unfamiliar voice from the door to the small chamber.


End file.
